Subject: How I Met The Bloody Mary In Me

*Ahem, Ahem*

Got your attention?

Good.

FYI: This is a sorta, kinda, so-called “response post” to a post from A Mr.Louis from VA:

🌸🌸🌸

Dear How I Met Your Mother Writers,

How could you?!? How dare you destroy my favorite series in the world with such a horrid ending?!!

I would like to inform you that I CRIED throughout the whole episode!! I  would also like to inform you that I NEVER cry while watching TV. NEVER!!! And you know what makes matters a whole lot worse???? I wasn’t even watching the real ending!! You hear that? The ALTERNATIVE ENDING brought me to my knees!!! The freaking ending that was supposed to make everything good again after your terrible mistake of a first ending.

I refused to watch Season 9 until the new, supposedly better, ending was aired.

I walked away from any conversation that included talk about the actual ending, because I didn’t want to ruin my FAVORITE SERIES IN THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ WORLD!!!

Do want to know how I felt while watching your improved (excuse me while I laugh) ending???

A little piece of my heart broke with every passing minute. I could actually feel little chips of it breaking off until finally it shattered.

My little brother FORBADE me from watching the real ending and quickly told me what happens. (It was a “tearing a bandage off a wound” kinda thing.) And all I have left to say, dear Mr. and Ms. How I Met Your Mother People:

How

Do

You

Sleep

At 

Night?

Yours Sincerely,

Bloody Mary

Subject: …..dafuq?……

Dear Marlena,

Oh my gosh you wouldn’t believe what a fudged up night I had yesterday…. I met up with my friends, Lizzy and Catalina, and a guy I had recently met, Ian. At first things went really great and I and a lot of fun.

But then Liz and Catalina had to leave…. It was just Ian and me……  At first things were still kinda fun. We decided to go into this little café/bar we found on the way, because it had started to rain. I ordered some tea and he had some sort of cocktail with coconut milk….. I don’t know…. We talked about everything and nothing; school, a broccoli in his class who finally got yelled at by a teacher, that he has math test next week, and something about if I would style my hair into a Mohawk for 500.000 €. And that’s when things got weird. We were talking about the stupid hair thing when he suddenly said, “You should let your hair grow.” I was like whaat, but he went on, “yes you should let your hair grow, at least past your shoulders, and dye them brown.”

What. What!!!??

At first I thought he was joking, but nawa this went on for the next 2 hours. The reasons he gave: Brown hair seems to suit my personality better, because blond hair is always associated with stupidity, stubbornness and being shallow and clearly I am none of those things. (Not sure if I should be flattered).

Long hair would look better than my silly short hair because short hair is associated with my “rebellious phase” or something I didn’t quite get that…. And lastly he wanted me to get ride of my bangs. Reason: Bangs shorten the face………………..

Oh and did I mention that by the end of the night his started to criticize my CUPCAKE EARRINGS!!! and the fact that they were colored blue, white and red which are the colors of the French flag and I shouldn’t be wearing them in Austria because German people don’t like French people…….. (what!!?)

Displaying IMG_20141109_170655.jpg (serious badass french earings you see here 😉 ) 

When I asked him why the feathers he wanted to change me so badly he replied: “I don’t want to change you, I want to improve you”.

I am proud to say I didn’t kill him.

Sorry for rambling I just wanted to get this of my chest… Hope you have a great day!!

Love,

Cora xx

Subject: Scelebrating Sunday

Dear Marlena,

Hi how’s it going?? Yes, I know I know!! It’s “celebrating” not “scelebrating” but I felt like the extra “s” would be a nice touch…. 🙂

I’m in an oddly good mood considering I woke up at 5 AM this morning…. I think I’m metamorphosing into a *gulp* morning person….. Yikes!

Anyways because I had no idea what to do with myself at 6:30 in the morning (this was after breakfast and 1 episode of The Big Bang Theory 😛 ) I proclaimed to the still silent house that, what the feathers(!) might as well get some homework done!!

(yes, this new attitude is scaring me too…)

And you know what? 1 hour and 39 minutes later I was done!!! Oh my gosh no Late-Night-Have-To-Get-Work-Done-Sunday-Scramble for me 😀 Yaaaaay

I then decided to make almond butter, which turned into a sticky disaster…. But my good mood never wavered!!! I relentlessly changed course to almond cookies!!!!

Which turned into a sticky, bloody disaster. (I cut my finger while chopping almonds)

These cookies now have a slight red tint and are currently baking in the oven….. One quick peek tells me I’ll be having thin, flat, hard, bloody little cookies for desert……… But never fear for Cora-Good-Mood is here!!!!! Ok now I’m starting to annoy myself…..

Oh! That’s the cookie timer! Excuse me for just one moment please.

.

.

.

Eui…

.

.

Weeeeeell I’ve produced worse…..

I think I’m going to hit the coffee machine now …….

Love,

Cora

ox

Subject: Terrified

Dear Marlena,
Hi!!! How have you been?
….

..

.
Marly….

I’m scared. I am so scared…..

I’m waiting for the tram to go to Elmayer and….wait…. Did I tell you about Elmayer? Hmmmm….. I’ m not sure…. I’ll just quickly cover the basics in case I didn’t, so you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Elmayer is a “famous” ballroom dance school and it’s customary for the Viennese girls and boys to participate in a one year course there to learn the basics of ballroom dancing. The problem is that the oh-so-great Mr. Elmayer is a bit behind with the whole organisation thingy and up until now there have ALWAYS been too many girls!!!

Do you know how awkward and just plain humiliating it is to be rejected be 50 boys at the same time!!!! And not just once, but twice!!!!! Two times in a row nobody wanted to be my dance partner…. That’s about 100 rejections in 2 weeks……!!

Do I at least get some sort of price? Or a medal? “Most rejected girl of the month” must be some sort of achievement…. Maybe I can put it on my resume…..

I swear if today is just another hour of standing around watching other couples dance while contemplating the different methods of escaping I will quit!! I do not need this!!! My self-esteem is already low and just because it’s easy to reach does not mean it needs to be stomped on!!

Gosh Marly if you knew how fast my heart is racing right now…….. My hands are literally shaking as I type and I’m wondering why the feathers I ever left the comfort of my room……….

Oh my Gosh the tram has reached my stop!!! I have to get out now……

Ohgosh oh gosh ohgoshohgosh I can’t take this!!!! Ok breath. Breath!! I have to go. Wish me luck.

Cora xx

I wish I were Cinderella….