This is emotional blackmailing and I know it

Dear Lovely Readers,

as some of you may know, I recently switched sites and…

…you know what would mean the world to me?? ๐Ÿ™‚

If me dear beloved readers made the transition with me? Please? I don’t want to lose you guys!!

So could y’all could move yourselves over to the new and improved Apricots and Cream and follow and support me there that be great. ๐Ÿ˜€

maybe with a cherry on top?

It would mean soooooooo much to me!!!!

I’m like almost begging here!!!

I will send cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!

These could be yours, all you have to do is come to the dark side ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ˜›

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This love has taken it’s toll, she said goodbye too many times before

(Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with the heading I’m just listening to the song at the moment and I love it ๐Ÿ™‚ย ๐Ÿ˜)

Do you know that feeling when everything is just too much!!!!! School, friends, blogging, life, just everything!!! Iย feel like I’m in some dream watching passively day in day out, sometimes trying to grasp hold of something only to let it slip away moments later…

Graduation is app. 1 year away and already they are making us write like this HUGE essay and there’s no avoiding itย otherwise we’re not allowed to participate in the final exams. And the platform where we were supposed to upload our layout and index (yes it needs an index) and yadiyadiyaa crashed!!! For like A WEEK!!! And all the schools are freaking out, all the teachers are nervous and I’m not even mentioning the stress the students are feeling (I should add, Austria’s school system changed drastically half a year ago and we’re all still trying to cope with the alterations…. the essay is one of them… *shudders in disgust*)

All my friends talk about is the stupid essay and the crashed site and how stressed they all are and, I don’t know about you, but that makes me even MORE stressed and strung out and panicky. The teachers are constantly asking us if the website is back on and if we already upload our things because the deadline is next week!! And don’t even get me STARTED on the idiotic bibliography rules!!!!!!

Did I mention that I have lost the ability of falling asleep on my own and now have to listening to calming sleep music (you know waterfalls, and waves and stuff)ย to make my head stop thinking and allow my body a few seconds of rest. Of course I wake up with the freaking sun, which NORMALLY I love but daaaaaaaamn I needs ma sleep too!!!!!!!!!!!

Also it’s still winter and everything is dark and so, so cold. And I hate the dark and the cold and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna survive this. I know I will. But sweet cookie it’s gonna be a rough journey….

P.S.: You may have figured this out already, but my blogging schedule….practically nonexistent at the moment…. I’ll blog whenever I find the time. I hope you guys don’t mind too badly ๐Ÿ™‚ I just can’t have another responsibility right now.

๐Ÿ„๐Ÿ„๐Ÿ„

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different :)

You know, as a teenager I keep changing my mind. (Ok, maybe it’s just me… Just…Go with it, ok?)

I change my mind about which T-Shirt is my favorite. I constantly have a different singer or music style I adore. I’ve switched from dream job to dream job more often than you can say “Quidditch”. (Anyone get the Harry Potter reference? ๐Ÿ˜› ) I’ve repeatedly decided I want to stop with this blog only to write a new post 2 days later. My need for a best friend constantly varies. I have a gazillion cities I want to live in when I grow up.

Ok, I think you get my point. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyways I used to be terrified of change and all those changes, especially the ones concerning my future. They would freak me out and I would become all panicky and scared. I had to have a plan for the future!! I needed a strict set of steps I could follow and if I did everything accordingly all would be perfect in the end. Whenever this wasn’t the case, whenever there wasn’t a precise agenda I could lean on to, I felt like I was drifting aimlessly in the dark.

What I’m trying to say is, the more I glide toward my 18th birthday (5th April, presents are more than welcome ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜› โค ) I realize everything falls into place on it’s own. Does that make any sense??

Here, let me give you an example: The dream job I had fix my mind on wasn’t making me happy and excited anymore, however I refused to budge from the path I had so carefully constructed. Then one day my mom brought home the box set of Grey’s Anatomy (of course I had to start watching immediately, the safety of the world depended on it) and as I watched all those doctors, intern, nurses and whatnot bustle around I felt my heart expand and I started to feel all light and happy. That was when I just knew that medicine was the right thing for me.

A similar thing happened with my dream home town. I knew I didn’t want to stay in Austria (even though it’s beautiful, the weather just depresses me too much) I desperately researched this town and that, countries in the north, countries in the south, big cities, small cities…. But whatever I found just didn’t seem right, you know?

Then a couple of weeks ago I was flipping through a magazine, I don’t remember why it was featured in there, but I came across an article about New Zealand. (I think it was something about having more sheep than humans…)

sheepimage2

I felt the swelling in my heart again and now I know, I know (bold, italic and, underlined for extra emphases ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) I want to at least try living in New Zealand. I can’t really explain it… Just this feeling. This deep satisfaction and… peace (?) as if I finally have at least a rough picture of where I belong.

Who knows, maybe I end up being a politician in Bratislava, but somehow I’m ok with that….

I’m finally not terrified of change anymore.

๐Ÿ™‚

🌿

And here’s a cheesy quote to end this post juuuuust right ๐Ÿ˜‰ :

change-quotes

Just another non-coherent post written by yours truly :)

[Quick side note: Don’t you just LOVE my featured image!!? When I first saw it, my heart went aaaaaw and then melted into something sparkly and pink.]

Ahem! To business.

Question of the day: Who invented baking?

What self-loathing person thought, ” Hey let’s try throwing some powdery white stuff, raw eggs and sugar together! Something delicious is bound to come out of this experiment!!” (Please note: thisย sentence is dripping with sarcasm) Anyways, whoever that crazy person was, I am forever grateful. โค Because I luuuuuuv baking ๐Ÿ˜› I bake when I’m stressed, depressed, nervous or euphoric….. My family now refuses to eat my “products” and I am constantly blamed for every slight weight gain in a 5 km radius…. But what can I say… It’s my passion *sniffs dramatically*

So now my friends have to suffer MUHAHAH ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

I’m like Izzie Stevens in Grey’s Anatomy!!ย *nods head proudly* ย You know her?? No………. Huh……. From which planet do you come from..? o.O

OH! I have some wonderful news I simply must share with you ๐Ÿ˜€

As some of you may know I had my last exam today (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)….

…and I celebrated my wonderful freedom by rampage bakingย all afternoon ๐Ÿ˜€ it was wonderful….. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh ๐Ÿ™‚ *

Now. Is anyone in dire need of brownies? Or cookies? Or muffins?ย *smiles awkwardly*

I’m feeling rather happy and emotional and “in-touch with my soul ๐Ÿ”ฎ” at the moment, so I feel like I should share a little something with you.

Blogging. My blog, is one of the few things I do that have nothing to do with school… At least in the last couple of weeks…. By sticking to my blogging schedule I force myself to take about an hour break every other day. And it’s one of the few things I really look forward to…Even if I have no idea what I am going to write about, just knowing that there are some people out there actually reading the things I blog about and maybe even caring….it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside……. ๐Ÿ™‚

Wow…

You people have no idea what you do for my sanity……..

I like you guys ๐Ÿ˜‰

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๐ŸŒ™Thinking-Out-Loudย ๐ŸŒ™

Well at least I have my smileys….

I can’t wait!!!

Sometimes I can’t wait for the future to come.

I can’t wait till I finally graduate.

I can’t wait till I can finally start studying.

I can’t wait till I can finally start my own life.

I can’t wait till I can finally take my own responsibility and make my own mistakes.

I can’t wait till I can finally buy my own little, scrumpy, crummy apartment.

I can’t wait till I can finally visit New Zealand!! (Maybe I’ll buy my crummy apartment there ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

*jumps up and down excitedly*

I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait!!!!bunny smiley



But now I’m stuck in the present so I guess I have to make do for the time being….

Oh weeeeell….

Gosh! Do you know what is the most annoying thing ever??! Having this unbearable urge to take loads and loads of pictures, but having that urge brutally denied due to pitch black darkness (I accidentally wrote “b**** black”…haha. Oops!ย 😁 Ahem! Not funny. Ok moving on.)ย There’s only so much you can photograph inside….

Vivi's camera Pics 881

Yes, we still have our Christmas decorations up. So sue me ๐Ÿ˜›


ย Vivi's camera Pics 837

And this is my book case. As you can see I am a very literate person. *nods head proudly*



So school sucks. Sorry? Was that sudden change of thought to sudden for? Let me clear you up ๐Ÿ˜‰

I was thinking about what to write next. Coming up with a few good half sentences but never quite finishing because my mind would inevitably end up at schoooooool. Which annoys me cause then I start to think about all the things I have to do and the upcoming exams and blahdiblahdiblah, so then I start feeling like this:

And when I desperately try to save my mind from the black hole that is my never ending to do list, it looks a little something like ah this:ย 

(Is it just me or does this look like an egg….? o.O)

Of course I fail… Next up is me starting to feel terribly overwhelmed and stressed and I start freaking out and wondering how in Godiva’s name I’m supposed to manage the upcoming weeks:

ย A good while after the panic attack, my brain goes in overdrive. There’s a loud CLACK in my head and a blinding light! And all I have left is a gray, smushy mass that used to be the place where my knowledge was kept safe:

The next stages happen quite quickly. First, I ask God, the world and the universe what terrible things I have done in my past life to deserve this:

Pretty shortly after that I’m like: “Screw dis sh*t” (Pardon my French ๐Ÿ˜› )

And before you can say”Quidditch” I’m working on some serious ZZZs:ย 

(Did anyone get the Harry Potter reference in this sentence?🙈)

Guess in which stage I am now?? ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜›

So anyways this is totally NOT the post I had intended….ย It just….happened….. But thank you for listening none the less ๐Ÿ™‚ you are a great person to talk to ๐Ÿ˜€

I am off to bed now, sooo

Good Night, my dearย people ๐Ÿ™‚

ย 🌿 Thinking-Out-Loud2ย 🌿

Subject: How I Met The Bloody Mary In Me

*Ahem, Ahem*

Got your attention?

Good.

FYI: This is a sorta, kinda, so-called “response post” to a post from A Mr.Louis from VA:

🌸🌸🌸

Dear How I Met Your Mother Writers,

How could you?!? How dare you destroy my favorite series in the world with such a horrid ending?!!

I would like to inform you that I CRIED throughout the whole episode!! I ย would also like to inform you that I NEVER cry while watching TV. NEVER!!! And you know what makes matters a whole lot worse???? I wasn’t even watching the real ending!! You hear that? The ALTERNATIVE ENDING brought me to my knees!!! The freaking ending that was supposed to make everything good again after your terrible mistake of a first ending.

I refused to watch Season 9 until the new, supposedly better,ย ending was aired.

I walked away from any conversation that included talk about the actual ending, because I didn’t want to ruin my FAVORITE SERIES IN THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ WORLD!!!

Do want to know how I felt while watching your improved (excuse me while I laugh) ending???

A little piece of my heart broke with every passing minute. I could actually feel little chips of it breaking off until finally it shattered.

My little brother FORBADE me from watching the real ending and quickly told me what happens. (It was a “tearing a bandageย off a wound” kinda thing.) And all I have left to say, dear Mr. and Ms. How I Met Your Mother People:

How

Do

You

Sleep

Atย 

Night?

Yours Sincerely,

Bloody Mary

Keeping the memories alive. (This isn’t as deep as it sounds)

Heeeeello beautiful readers!!!
Happy New Year to AAAALL of you!!! ๐Ÿ˜€
How did you spend the last minutes of 2014? Did you go out with friends? Did you stay in and celebrate with your family? Vice Versa?
Oh really?! Wow that sounds like fun!! Go you!!! ๐Ÿ˜€
You wanna know how I spent my Silvester Night?
Asleep.
Like the hardcore party person I am…..
I wouldn’t be embarrassed except for the little fact that a nine year old girl outdid me by hours!
Oh well I guess old people need more sleep….

(You know I miss my awesome smileys… I can’t wait till I get home and I can use them again ๐Ÿ˜› โค *sighs happily* )

You know what? I am in a ridiculous good mood right now ๐Ÿ˜€
I’m still situated on that uncomfortable bed from last time, but this time I’m listening to music with my bro and click-clacking away cheerfully on the wireless keyboard I got for Christmas. Nothing special happened today and yet I am has happy as a dog running over a green field.
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(Jabadabadoooooo ๐Ÿ˜› )

Which leads me to my next point: This year I plan to make a memory chest. Now, even some of the most sophisticated people out there will be having a hard time understanding what I mean, so let me elaborate. A finished memory chest (or jar or notebook) contains 365 little notes holding one happy memory of each day that year. Which means I have to write down one good thing that happened that day ๐Ÿ™‚ . This was inspired by one of my favorite bloggers, Running With Spoons, and if you still have no idea what I’m talking about let me send you over to one of her posts where you shall find a more detailed description of what I’m going on about ๐Ÿ˜‰
That being said I have only one other goal I want to reach, but I probably won’t be able to reach it anytime soon…..:
I want to be a famous blogger!!!!!!!!
It’s something I realized a few days ago and I can’t get rid of the idea…. I want to be a famous blogger soooo bad!!!!!! >(0.0)<
… I guess I just have to wait and see what 2015 has planned for me….

Happy 1.1.2015 Everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

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