This love has taken it’s toll, she said goodbye too many times before

(Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with the heading I’m just listening to the song at the moment and I love it 🙂 😍)

Do you know that feeling when everything is just too much!!!!! School, friends, blogging, life, just everything!!! I feel like I’m in some dream watching passively day in day out, sometimes trying to grasp hold of something only to let it slip away moments later…

Graduation is app. 1 year away and already they are making us write like this HUGE essay and there’s no avoiding it otherwise we’re not allowed to participate in the final exams. And the platform where we were supposed to upload our layout and index (yes it needs an index) and yadiyadiyaa crashed!!! For like A WEEK!!! And all the schools are freaking out, all the teachers are nervous and I’m not even mentioning the stress the students are feeling (I should add, Austria’s school system changed drastically half a year ago and we’re all still trying to cope with the alterations…. the essay is one of them… *shudders in disgust*)

All my friends talk about is the stupid essay and the crashed site and how stressed they all are and, I don’t know about you, but that makes me even MORE stressed and strung out and panicky. The teachers are constantly asking us if the website is back on and if we already upload our things because the deadline is next week!! And don’t even get me STARTED on the idiotic bibliography rules!!!!!!

Did I mention that I have lost the ability of falling asleep on my own and now have to listening to calming sleep music (you know waterfalls, and waves and stuff) to make my head stop thinking and allow my body a few seconds of rest. Of course I wake up with the freaking sun, which NORMALLY I love but daaaaaaaamn I needs ma sleep too!!!!!!!!!!!

Also it’s still winter and everything is dark and so, so cold. And I hate the dark and the cold and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna survive this. I know I will. But sweet cookie it’s gonna be a rough journey….

P.S.: You may have figured this out already, but my blogging schedule….practically nonexistent at the moment…. I’ll blog whenever I find the time. I hope you guys don’t mind too badly 🙂 I just can’t have another responsibility right now.

🍄🍄🍄

Well at least I have my smileys….

I can’t wait!!!

Sometimes I can’t wait for the future to come.

I can’t wait till I finally graduate.

I can’t wait till I can finally start studying.

I can’t wait till I can finally start my own life.

I can’t wait till I can finally take my own responsibility and make my own mistakes.

I can’t wait till I can finally buy my own little, scrumpy, crummy apartment.

I can’t wait till I can finally visit New Zealand!! (Maybe I’ll buy my crummy apartment there 😉 )

*jumps up and down excitedly*

I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait!!!!bunny smiley



But now I’m stuck in the present so I guess I have to make do for the time being….

Oh weeeeell….

Gosh! Do you know what is the most annoying thing ever??! Having this unbearable urge to take loads and loads of pictures, but having that urge brutally denied due to pitch black darkness (I accidentally wrote “b**** black”…haha. Oops! 😁 Ahem! Not funny. Ok moving on.) There’s only so much you can photograph inside….

Vivi's camera Pics 881

Yes, we still have our Christmas decorations up. So sue me 😛


 Vivi's camera Pics 837

And this is my book case. As you can see I am a very literate person. *nods head proudly*



So school sucks. Sorry? Was that sudden change of thought to sudden for? Let me clear you up 😉

I was thinking about what to write next. Coming up with a few good half sentences but never quite finishing because my mind would inevitably end up at schoooooool. Which annoys me cause then I start to think about all the things I have to do and the upcoming exams and blahdiblahdiblah, so then I start feeling like this:

And when I desperately try to save my mind from the black hole that is my never ending to do list, it looks a little something like ah this: 

(Is it just me or does this look like an egg….? o.O)

Of course I fail… Next up is me starting to feel terribly overwhelmed and stressed and I start freaking out and wondering how in Godiva’s name I’m supposed to manage the upcoming weeks:

 A good while after the panic attack, my brain goes in overdrive. There’s a loud CLACK in my head and a blinding light! And all I have left is a gray, smushy mass that used to be the place where my knowledge was kept safe:

The next stages happen quite quickly. First, I ask God, the world and the universe what terrible things I have done in my past life to deserve this:

Pretty shortly after that I’m like: “Screw dis sh*t” (Pardon my French 😛 )

And before you can say”Quidditch” I’m working on some serious ZZZs: 

(Did anyone get the Harry Potter reference in this sentence?🙈)

Guess in which stage I am now?? 😉 😛

So anyways this is totally NOT the post I had intended…. It just….happened….. But thank you for listening none the less 🙂 you are a great person to talk to 😀

I am off to bed now, sooo

Good Night, my dear people 🙂

 🌿 Thinking-Out-Loud2 🌿

Subject: How I Met The Bloody Mary In Me

*Ahem, Ahem*

Got your attention?

Good.

FYI: This is a sorta, kinda, so-called “response post” to a post from A Mr.Louis from VA:

🌸🌸🌸

Dear How I Met Your Mother Writers,

How could you?!? How dare you destroy my favorite series in the world with such a horrid ending?!!

I would like to inform you that I CRIED throughout the whole episode!! I  would also like to inform you that I NEVER cry while watching TV. NEVER!!! And you know what makes matters a whole lot worse???? I wasn’t even watching the real ending!! You hear that? The ALTERNATIVE ENDING brought me to my knees!!! The freaking ending that was supposed to make everything good again after your terrible mistake of a first ending.

I refused to watch Season 9 until the new, supposedly better, ending was aired.

I walked away from any conversation that included talk about the actual ending, because I didn’t want to ruin my FAVORITE SERIES IN THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ WORLD!!!

Do want to know how I felt while watching your improved (excuse me while I laugh) ending???

A little piece of my heart broke with every passing minute. I could actually feel little chips of it breaking off until finally it shattered.

My little brother FORBADE me from watching the real ending and quickly told me what happens. (It was a “tearing a bandage off a wound” kinda thing.) And all I have left to say, dear Mr. and Ms. How I Met Your Mother People:

How

Do

You

Sleep

At 

Night?

Yours Sincerely,

Bloody Mary

I present to you my blood, sweat and tears aka my blog.

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Today in the shower I had a sudden realization (how come these things mostly happen while showering??!):

Blogging is hard work.

Yes, yes I know what you’re all think. Did she just realize that now???

Well for your information No. I. Did. Not.
*insert sassy head movement here*

I knew what I was getting into when I started. I knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park. But at the same time I didn’t. Seem confusing? Well stay with me it gets better. (I hope)

What I mean is that I didn’t know at that time how much I would love to blog. How much effort I would pour into this little corner of the web. How most of my free time would be spent trying to branch out, gain more readership and maybe a few blog buddies. How everyday the fear of failing grows a little, but also the hope that maybe, just maybe it won’t.
Don’t get me wrong I still love to blog with all my heart, I just never thought there would be so much at stake.

.

.

You can laugh, it’s ok. I don’t mind 😉 I realize how weird and dramatic that sounds 😛

*siiiiiiiiiiiigh*

However I want to give all my fellow newbie bloggers a clap on the back and a cookie for not giving up! For plowing through the relentless swamp that is the blogging world!! You rock!!!! Sit back for a moment and bask in the accomplishments that you have achieved.
You do that?
Good.
You’re awesome! 😉

A and C over and out

Subject: …..dafuq?……

Dear Marlena,

Oh my gosh you wouldn’t believe what a fudged up night I had yesterday…. I met up with my friends, Lizzy and Catalina, and a guy I had recently met, Ian. At first things went really great and I and a lot of fun.

But then Liz and Catalina had to leave…. It was just Ian and me……  At first things were still kinda fun. We decided to go into this little café/bar we found on the way, because it had started to rain. I ordered some tea and he had some sort of cocktail with coconut milk….. I don’t know…. We talked about everything and nothing; school, a broccoli in his class who finally got yelled at by a teacher, that he has math test next week, and something about if I would style my hair into a Mohawk for 500.000 €. And that’s when things got weird. We were talking about the stupid hair thing when he suddenly said, “You should let your hair grow.” I was like whaat, but he went on, “yes you should let your hair grow, at least past your shoulders, and dye them brown.”

What. What!!!??

At first I thought he was joking, but nawa this went on for the next 2 hours. The reasons he gave: Brown hair seems to suit my personality better, because blond hair is always associated with stupidity, stubbornness and being shallow and clearly I am none of those things. (Not sure if I should be flattered).

Long hair would look better than my silly short hair because short hair is associated with my “rebellious phase” or something I didn’t quite get that…. And lastly he wanted me to get ride of my bangs. Reason: Bangs shorten the face………………..

Oh and did I mention that by the end of the night his started to criticize my CUPCAKE EARRINGS!!! and the fact that they were colored blue, white and red which are the colors of the French flag and I shouldn’t be wearing them in Austria because German people don’t like French people…….. (what!!?)

Displaying IMG_20141109_170655.jpg (serious badass french earings you see here 😉 ) 

When I asked him why the feathers he wanted to change me so badly he replied: “I don’t want to change you, I want to improve you”.

I am proud to say I didn’t kill him.

Sorry for rambling I just wanted to get this of my chest… Hope you have a great day!!

Love,

Cora xx