This love has taken it’s toll, she said goodbye too many times before

(Disclaimer: This post has nothing to do with the heading I’m just listening to the song at the moment and I love it 🙂 😍)

Do you know that feeling when everything is just too much!!!!! School, friends, blogging, life, just everything!!! I feel like I’m in some dream watching passively day in day out, sometimes trying to grasp hold of something only to let it slip away moments later…

Graduation is app. 1 year away and already they are making us write like this HUGE essay and there’s no avoiding it otherwise we’re not allowed to participate in the final exams. And the platform where we were supposed to upload our layout and index (yes it needs an index) and yadiyadiyaa crashed!!! For like A WEEK!!! And all the schools are freaking out, all the teachers are nervous and I’m not even mentioning the stress the students are feeling (I should add, Austria’s school system changed drastically half a year ago and we’re all still trying to cope with the alterations…. the essay is one of them… *shudders in disgust*)

All my friends talk about is the stupid essay and the crashed site and how stressed they all are and, I don’t know about you, but that makes me even MORE stressed and strung out and panicky. The teachers are constantly asking us if the website is back on and if we already upload our things because the deadline is next week!! And don’t even get me STARTED on the idiotic bibliography rules!!!!!!

Did I mention that I have lost the ability of falling asleep on my own and now have to listening to calming sleep music (you know waterfalls, and waves and stuff) to make my head stop thinking and allow my body a few seconds of rest. Of course I wake up with the freaking sun, which NORMALLY I love but daaaaaaaamn I needs ma sleep too!!!!!!!!!!!

Also it’s still winter and everything is dark and so, so cold. And I hate the dark and the cold and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m gonna survive this. I know I will. But sweet cookie it’s gonna be a rough journey….

P.S.: You may have figured this out already, but my blogging schedule….practically nonexistent at the moment…. I’ll blog whenever I find the time. I hope you guys don’t mind too badly 🙂 I just can’t have another responsibility right now.

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Early Rainy Morning – Coffee = Deep Cora

I am different.

I am weird.

I am the only girl in my grade with short hair. Probably the whole school…

I’m the only blonde person in our class.

I have made it my mission not to let people walk all over me. Teachers and students alike.

And I am okay with being the “odd one out”, really, but for some reason the other people in my class can’t accept that I am different. They don’t know where to place me when they call me something stupid like “Coraan” and I just don’t react. Not like the other people in my class who either laugh awkwardly, or get irritated or blush. My face stays as blank as a piece of paper (a feat I have practiced for a long time and am now very proud of 🙂 ) 

Honestly though…. I don’t care.

I don’t really know why I’m telling you guys this, but I feel like… I don’t know…. I just want to, I guess….

I don’t have a dramatic background or some horrible story. I am a normal girl with a normal family going to a normal school which happens to be stuffed to the brim with pretentious snobs. These snob think that everybody wants to be like them and they shun everyone who isn’t. If I had a penny for every time somebody called me stupid or laughed behind my back… (yadiya we all know how the saying goes 😉 )

And I don’t care.

You know I think I know why I am so persistent about blogging about this matter…. It’s because I DO NOT CARE!!! The thing that just hit me is, I used to always care. My life was built on what other people thought of me. I had to change school twice because the opinion other students had about me, screwed me up too much….

Nothing has changed. Except every thing has changed. People laugh behind my back. I don’t care. I have friends I trust. I have hair I like. I have a blog that one day shall be famous.

And I’m okay.

🙂

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I’m not sure if it’s suitable for this post, but I love this so much:

😀 ❤

Just another non-coherent post written by yours truly :)

[Quick side note: Don’t you just LOVE my featured image!!? When I first saw it, my heart went aaaaaw and then melted into something sparkly and pink.]

Ahem! To business.

Question of the day: Who invented baking?

What self-loathing person thought, ” Hey let’s try throwing some powdery white stuff, raw eggs and sugar together! Something delicious is bound to come out of this experiment!!” (Please note: this sentence is dripping with sarcasm) Anyways, whoever that crazy person was, I am forever grateful. ❤ Because I luuuuuuv baking 😛 I bake when I’m stressed, depressed, nervous or euphoric….. My family now refuses to eat my “products” and I am constantly blamed for every slight weight gain in a 5 km radius…. But what can I say… It’s my passion *sniffs dramatically*

So now my friends have to suffer MUHAHAH 😈

I’m like Izzie Stevens in Grey’s Anatomy!! *nods head proudly*  You know her?? No………. Huh……. From which planet do you come from..? o.O

OH! I have some wonderful news I simply must share with you 😀

As some of you may know I had my last exam today (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)….

…and I celebrated my wonderful freedom by rampage baking all afternoon 😀 it was wonderful….. *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh 🙂 *

Now. Is anyone in dire need of brownies? Or cookies? Or muffins? *smiles awkwardly*

I’m feeling rather happy and emotional and “in-touch with my soul 🔮” at the moment, so I feel like I should share a little something with you.

Blogging. My blog, is one of the few things I do that have nothing to do with school… At least in the last couple of weeks…. By sticking to my blogging schedule I force myself to take about an hour break every other day. And it’s one of the few things I really look forward to…Even if I have no idea what I am going to write about, just knowing that there are some people out there actually reading the things I blog about and maybe even caring….it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside……. 🙂

Wow…

You people have no idea what you do for my sanity……..

I like you guys 😉

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🌙Thinking-Out-Loud 🌙

Could somebody PLEASE remove this screwdriver from my brain!!!!!

Ok people this is it.

Tomorrow at this time I will have survived my Biology exam and (much more importantly) my Math exam.

After that all I have to do is withstand the freaking Latin exam on Thursday and then everything will be over! At least for this semester….

Oh gosh I can’t wait for Thursday afternoon!!!! Then I can finally go back to being the cheerful, perky blogger you all know and love instead of this depressed, stressed and not well dressed (sorry had to do that…. Temptation was too strong… 😛 ) student. Seriously, I feel like a piece of runny dough that has been rolled out to thin, and even though somebody is desperately trying to cut cookies out of it, it just ain’t working anymore!!! So stop it!!! You’re harassing the cookie dough and the cookie dough does not like to be harassed!!

In all honesty though, with my current state of mind, I couldn’t come up with a decent blog post to save my life…

So with these joyful words I shall now leave you and instead pictures of cookie dough shall take my place. I’m sure you two will find a lot of things to talk about, and frankly cookie dough is in a much more amusing than apricots and cream.

At least for the time being….

Enjoy: 😀

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(I present to you heaven in a bowl.)

Well at least I have my smileys….

I can’t wait!!!

Sometimes I can’t wait for the future to come.

I can’t wait till I finally graduate.

I can’t wait till I can finally start studying.

I can’t wait till I can finally start my own life.

I can’t wait till I can finally take my own responsibility and make my own mistakes.

I can’t wait till I can finally buy my own little, scrumpy, crummy apartment.

I can’t wait till I can finally visit New Zealand!! (Maybe I’ll buy my crummy apartment there 😉 )

*jumps up and down excitedly*

I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait!!!!bunny smiley



But now I’m stuck in the present so I guess I have to make do for the time being….

Oh weeeeell….

Gosh! Do you know what is the most annoying thing ever??! Having this unbearable urge to take loads and loads of pictures, but having that urge brutally denied due to pitch black darkness (I accidentally wrote “b**** black”…haha. Oops! 😁 Ahem! Not funny. Ok moving on.) There’s only so much you can photograph inside….

Vivi's camera Pics 881

Yes, we still have our Christmas decorations up. So sue me 😛


 Vivi's camera Pics 837

And this is my book case. As you can see I am a very literate person. *nods head proudly*



So school sucks. Sorry? Was that sudden change of thought to sudden for? Let me clear you up 😉

I was thinking about what to write next. Coming up with a few good half sentences but never quite finishing because my mind would inevitably end up at schoooooool. Which annoys me cause then I start to think about all the things I have to do and the upcoming exams and blahdiblahdiblah, so then I start feeling like this:

And when I desperately try to save my mind from the black hole that is my never ending to do list, it looks a little something like ah this: 

(Is it just me or does this look like an egg….? o.O)

Of course I fail… Next up is me starting to feel terribly overwhelmed and stressed and I start freaking out and wondering how in Godiva’s name I’m supposed to manage the upcoming weeks:

 A good while after the panic attack, my brain goes in overdrive. There’s a loud CLACK in my head and a blinding light! And all I have left is a gray, smushy mass that used to be the place where my knowledge was kept safe:

The next stages happen quite quickly. First, I ask God, the world and the universe what terrible things I have done in my past life to deserve this:

Pretty shortly after that I’m like: “Screw dis sh*t” (Pardon my French 😛 )

And before you can say”Quidditch” I’m working on some serious ZZZs: 

(Did anyone get the Harry Potter reference in this sentence?🙈)

Guess in which stage I am now?? 😉 😛

So anyways this is totally NOT the post I had intended…. It just….happened….. But thank you for listening none the less 🙂 you are a great person to talk to 😀

I am off to bed now, sooo

Good Night, my dear people 🙂

 🌿 Thinking-Out-Loud2 🌿

So now I know what a zombie feels like….

Goose almighty I just looked up zombies on Google Images and have now lost the ability of sleeping….

(This is the safest one I found…. Not sure if this is cute or disturbing…)

So tell me, how are you?

Really? Uhuh… Uhuh……Uhuh…………..Uhzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hmm?!?!

What??? What??  Where am I??! You talkin’ to me???

Sorry folks, I didn’t mean to be rude… Sleep has been kinda non existent here in good ole Coraville.

I can hardly believe this is my third day back at school!!! It feels like I never left *siiiiiiiiiiiigh*

On a more cheerful note it snowed yesterday 🙂

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(Thank you, Professor VJ  Duke for sending some of your snow over 😉 )

So yay… At least I got that working for me….. Although I have lost the feeling of my fingers so often by now I’m surprised they’re even attached. But enough with this danged negativity!!! Let me show you some pretty pictures of the Winter Wonderland around our house:

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Oooooooh it’s snoooow 😍

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Looooooook at da pretty snow!!!!!! ❄️❄️❄️ ❤ ❄️❄️❄️

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LOOK AT IT!!!!! O.O

Sorry for being all intense this is probably the only good thing that happened all week……. Aaaah stop with the antagonism already!! Daaaaamn…….. I am a happy and cheerful person and I shall not let school suck it out of me! So there!!

(I’ve been writing this post for a while now and if you look closely you can see the changes in my mood 😛 )

Ah well enough with the rambling, I am off to learn about lightning and why it is what it is! Wish me luck my fellow people and may your day be zazzier than mine 😀

Toodles!!


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Why I’ll probably hire a body guard…..

Featured image

Hey y’all!!

Oh my gosh I have to tell you guys something!!!!! I had the most terrifying teacher situation EVER!!!! Like I will most likely have nightmares about this incident!!!! o.O

It went a little something like this:

It was just yo ole’ regular Friday and I was getting ready for the upcoming lesson: Latin.

Now, I’m not very fond of Latin to begin with and the dislike intensified with the teacher.

She’s already known as one of the most feared teacher in school, not because she’s mean or bitchy or unfair, but because sometimes she can be as sweet as honey, as nice as a summer’s day and you start thinking, “Hmmmm maybe the rumors aren’t true… Or at least they don’t apply to me…”

EEER. Wrong. 

And last Friday she proved me just how wrong I was……

There is one thing you should know before I launch into my terrifying story.

I changed school last year, which was probably the best decision I have made in my short little life. Except for one problem: My old school didn’t teach Latin, so now I spend a 100 minutes per week learning the godforsaken language. Naturally, I kiiinda suck.

So there I was. Sitting behind my desk. Trying to look smart. Pretending to understand everything. When she asked me a question I didn’t know the answer to. It must have pushed some kind of button, because her eyes started spewing fire. But she didn’t say anything. At least not yet.

10 minutes later when I thought the whole thing was forgotten she suddenly whips her head around and snaps, “Are you actually trying to keep up with this class??!”

” Uum… Yes?”, I stutter.

“Oh really? ‘Cause it sure looks a lot like you don’t.” Ans then she launched into this lengthy speech of what a disappointment I am, and how anyone could clearly see I wasn’t even trying to catch up, if I taking tutoring lesson and when I said yes, she told my you couldn’t see any improvement. Something about that I have to work a lot harder, if I even plan on passing the school year. (Mind you, this isn’t an exact retell of the things she yelled at me, just the general drift I got.)

And then she looked at me with pure evilness in her eyes. I swear it’s a look the young kids warn each other about. It is a look that sends a fearful chill down your spine.It is a look that makes you want to drop dead.

And I either did the most heroic act of the year, or the most idiotic one.

I didn’t look away.

I bit my tongue, forced my face into blank and looked right back into her eyes.

My heart was slamming in my chest. I started tasting blood in my mouth. All four seasons passed by the window. I’m not even sure I was breathing. But I Refused. To. Back. Down. And then…

She

Looked

Away.

This may sound ridiculous, but I have never felt more euphoric. Even thinking about it makes my heart skip two beats.

Now, I probably just dug my own grave, but at least I’ll have something to tell the grand-kids.

And of course you guys 😉

*Phew*  Had to get that off my chest…. Oh and btw you’re all welcome to attend my funeral. I’ll send you the details as soon as I know more. 😉